Tuesday, 8 May 2012

5 Things You Don't Say to Inked/Pierced People

A Doctor (for real) with tattoo's
 I had to address this issue primarily because people I hardly know keep asking me stupid questions regarding my tattoo's/piercings. I do not mind when people ask what my inspiration is for my artwork or ask me about the process-I am happy to pass that on. What I really, REALLY dislike are questions from a standpoint of judgmental ignorance. The "why did you do that to yourself" or "do you regret that" or the more comical "when you get older it's gonna get wrinkled." Gee, thanks for that, I thought when I got older my skin would simply wrinkle around the tattoo leaving the artwork completely intact (sarcasm alert.) I hate the way tattooed/pierced persons are looked down on and discrimanated against and will be writing an article about employment discrimination. For now, I'll leave you with the top 5 (though there are many more) things you should never say to inked/pierced individuals:

Did That Hurt?

Yes, indeed it did for it is not henna. It is a tattoo.  Humans and animals alike have nerves and a receptor in the brain for those nerves. When the body is exposed to intense or damaging stimuli it triggers a response. This response is called-wait for it, wait for it (wait for it) pain. It is done with a needle that places ink into the dermis (the skins second layer.) It hurts-to varying degrees-but it hurts. Please refrain from asking questions you already know the answer to because it's silly. Ask yourself, "if I got a toothpick and stabbed it along my skin at high speed-would it hurt?" Yes, it would.

Why Did You Do That?

If you are asking from a perspective of intrigue and genuine wonder that's completely fine. If you are asking because you want to know why someone would want to get a tattoo then you are a fool. I don't care if you're objecting to placement, design, quality or reasoning. You are a fool. Why do you have your hair in THAT particular style? WHY have you decided to wear those trousers? Why are you under the impression that Reebok Classics are still fashionable? Asking someone why they got a tattoo is no less insulting then the aforementioned questions. Besides there are very limited answers to that question. It's either A: I wanted to B: It means something to me (that's still "I wanted to") or C: My friend does tattoo's and I'm the guinea pig (this is still "I wanted to.") THE REASON PEOPLE GET TATTOO'S IS BECAUSE THEY WANT TO. I don't care who you are you cannot go around asking perfect strangers about what they choose to do with their skin. For those of you who think it's self harm consider this. Would you go up to somebody you do not know with razor scars and ask why they did that? Not if you like your face bruise free. As people we choose to express ourselves in a variety of ways. We did not get tattooes to be scrutinised by ignorant people we hardly know. THINK.

When You Get Old They Will Wrinkle

Really? Really? I was under the impression that my tattooes were not on my skin. My answer to that question is always; "I'm aware of that."  Why should this be of any importance? Is untarnished wrinkled skin a commodity? Does having wrinkled skin sans tattooes make one closer to godliness? Will having uninked wrinkled skin mean when I'm in my 80's I'll still get all the ladies? Will the fact my tattooes wrinkle (because they are on my skin) mean nobody will love me :'( ... Does it? DOES IT? Please refrain from informing us of  this. We are aware of the phenomenom that is aging. We are more than happy with the fact our tatts age with us. Personally I think it has a certain charm about it. I seriously think some people believe if they stay inside society's box they are never going to die.

Do You Regret That?

Do you think I should? Why the hell have you asked me that!!?? Maybe I regret it, maybe not, but what I regret is none of your business. Someone asked me that very question about my favorite tattoo once. It's an experience I would rewind to because I was in such a state of shock all I could manage was "no."  This came from a woman (at the jobcentre-where else) with multiple lip piercings-they didn't suit her, just made her even more ugly, not that I'd say that. I am a lady. I have manners. It actually broke my heart a little and for maybe 2 minutes I felt abit like crap. Then I was angry. Angry that someone would put me down just to enjoy a sense of superiority. A false sense, but all the same. Please don't say this people. It's not nice. In that little exchange I learned something quite deep about someone I hardly knew. I knew she was spiteful or at the very least thoughtless. What did she learn about me? I like tattooes in unusual places. You expose yourself when you subject people to such a judgmental line of questioning.

You Must Find It Hard Getting A Job!

If A fellow inked person asks (or just somebody I know) this I don't mind. We can discuss the issue from a socialogical standpoint and exchange information on openminded employers etc. Do not ask me this if you want to feel superior for not having tatts or to find out my employment status/opportunities. That has nothing to do with you. I don't need your pseudo concern/pity. I don't stop working.  I get by. Iceland or Waitrose do not hold the key to my future (both of these places enforce a no tattoo employment policy) nor do they ever-for 1 second give me cause to regret the choices I have made with my skin. In fact, I'd rather be unemployed to look the way I do. It's a price I'm willing to pay. 

Conclusion:

I could not choose ascribed characteristics such as my race or sex. I can choose how I present myself in day to day life with; piercings, tattoo's and my awesome sense of fashion. I'm a very openminded, non judgmental, clever, creative and emotionally intelligent human being. I value not only my diversity but everyone elses. Judging people just because they have tattoo's (or because anything else) is wrong and you do not have a right to judge just because we chose to look this way. Please think before you speak because you might be hurting someone's feelings. We must have a basic respect for people no matter what. Projecting ignorance on others is not attractive.

Me and my tatts, will be getting alot more!
 

Friday, 4 May 2012

Erotic Poetry: Feisty Angel




I drip
I think of you and I drip
I cant control the pool of wetness
Forming between my thighs
As I imagine the simplest thing
Like just staring into your eyes
A rush of warmth to my cheeks
My black skin can’t disguise
And with you on my mind, I drip

I get to work and
Put my mind straight
I struggle to concentrate
Once again my thought path breaks
I think of you and I drip

You are not here
I wish you were
I can almost feel you,
Hear you, smell you, I want you
My body wants you
Oooh I drip
I want you to see me
I want you to know what you do to me
I want you to feel what I feel
Cos this feeling is real
 
 
@KemiTaiwoPoet: Follow her on twitter
 aka Feisty Angel

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Things You Should Know About Afro Hair: The Basics







Afro hair has been a very contentious issue for black women. With its reputation for being coarse, hard to manage and unable to grow it's no wonder that whenever I see a woman in her natural glory I can't help but stare-it's not something I see daily. This article is not against women who are weaved/relaxed. I will be wearing wigs while I grow out my hair. Neither is this going to be an accusation that weaves/relaxed ladies only do so because of the European standard of beauty (though I will touch upon the historical reasons we started burning our scalps and wearing wigs in the first place.) I want to dispell natural hair myths so you can see your textured tresses as a beautiful and unique object of desire. I will also invite you to follow my natural hair journey. Our hair can grow long but so many years of misinformation has meant our hair doesn't flourish. Afro hair has been the least studied so there's still so much to learn about it. Alot of us are damaging our hair for social acceptance. When are we going to reject the idea our hair isn't good enough?

Our hair is an evolutionary adaptation to our indigenous enviroments. Afro hair is said to grow outward as a defence from powerful UV rays. The comparitively lower number of hair follicles (compared to Asian and caucasian hair) allow for air to reach the scalp increasing blood circulation, regulating temperature. Afro hair texture is down to the shape of our hair follicles acting as moulds. Caucasian hair follicles are oval shaped whilst asian hair follicles are rounder producing bone straight hair. Our flatly shaped follicles press our hair into a tight curl pattern.




In Africa, hair styling had ceremonious significance. A craft passed down through generations of women. Black soap was used to wash the hair whilst natural ingredients like palm oil and shea butter were used to moisturise and dress the hair. Hair styles varied depending on your tribe, place in the family unit and position in society. One would never wear their hair in an afro as this signified; povery, loss and/or madness. The transatlantic slave trade held dire consequences for our hair care. Foreign lands lacked the tools and ingredients our hair needed to thrive. For lack of an alternative option, slaves would use sheep carding tools which lead to the spread of scalp irritations such as dandruff and lice. Female slaves with wavy/longer hair would be subject to jealousy from the masters wife and would often have to cut their hair given them a less feminine appearance. On the other hand, those with finer hair textures had better social and economic opportunities, thus, in a more favorable position than those with kinkier hair textures. By the 19th century slaves were granted Sunday to attend church and socialise. At this time hairstyling once again became an integral part of the culture. It was also in the 19th century natural afro textured hair was virtually outlawed in New Orleans. Ladies with kinkier textures had to cover their hair with a scarf whilst in public. The societal rejection of afro textured hair culminated in Garrett Augustus Morgan's (the 11th child of former slaves) accidental discovery of a chemical that straightened the texture of hair. The chemical was discovered in Morgan's attempt to invent a liqiud to lubricate needles in sewing machines. He wiped his hands on a wool cloth, noticed the effect and "Morgan's hair refining cream" was born. This spawned a multi million dollar industry.

We now know that a product (like modern day hair relaxers) that penetrates through to the corticle layer (where the hair contains its strength and elasticity) altering it's structure is liable to lead to damage/breakage. But there are other less obvious ingredients on the market that strip our delicate hair type. I've listed a few below:

Sodium (lauryl, laureth, laurel) Sulphate 

This ingredient is in over 90% of foaming products. It strips afro hair of essential natural oils, leaving it dry, brittle and vulnerable to breakage. Sodium laurel sulphate is used in products such as; car washes and engine degreasers. Not the best ingredient for hair that needs gentle handling to thrive. Try using a sulphate free shampoo. If you want to splash out there's Carols Daughter Black Vanilla Moisturising shampoo. If like me you're on a budget try Elasta QP Creme Conditioning Shampoo. I use it and it works wonders with my hair.




 Mineral oil/Petrolatum


These ingredients act as barriers stopping moisture getting through, causing dryness. Mineral oil/petrolatum do not penetrate the hair shaft so cannot effectively moisturise the hair. Let me explain why afro hair gets so dry. The scalp produces the same amount of natural oils as other races but due to the hair texture the oils cannot effectively travel through the hair, the texture is also the reason our hair breaks and why low manipulation styles (the less combing/brushing/messing around with it-the better) help our hair grow.  These ingredients (mineral oil/petroleum) clog pores causing a build up of toxins and affecting overall hair health. There are only 3 oils that can penetrate the hair shaft; coconut oil (cold pressed is the best variety), avocado oil and olive oil. Ingredients such as aloe vera juice, water or glycerine are great for moisturising too. Genuine mosisture stops hair getting brittle by helping it to retain elasticity, strength and shine. In order to help retain moisture seal it in with other oils (almond, castor, jojoba) or shea butter. In fact I've found a company "Shea Delight" (UK based) who have developed a hair cream using a blend of high grade unrefined organic shea butter with organic cold pressed coconut oil (and nothing else) for the crazy price of £5.00! Google  "cold pressed coconut oil" and you'll see a little tub will set you back £8.00 so it's real value for money. My hair has been so healthy since I started using it.




This one is a blend of manuka honey and unrefined shea butter. For orders call Judith on: 07947384046 or alternatively email: info@sheadelight.com. Do not get confused that the above is a skin cream. It's great for skin AND hair.














Isopropyl Alcohol 

An ingredient used in anti-freeze and hair colour rinses. It dries out afro hair making it prone to breakage. 
 Moisture is key!

Black Girl Long Hair Style Icon

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The civil rights era brought with it a new conciousness. The afro hairstyle became mainstream as people decided to reject colonial idea's about afro textured hair. There were some natural hair controversies when correspondent Melba Tolliver sported an afro to cover Tricia Nixon's (daughter of president Richard Nixon) wedding. The station threatened to take Tolliver off the air until the media caught on to the story. There's still debate within the black community whether wearing an unaltered hair texture makes one look unprofessional. Some ladies have been accused of making a political statement just by wearing the hair they were born with. Since the black power movement the trend for natural hair has gone through the motions. Weaves and relaxers remain ever popular. Although, this could all change. I've recently discovered natural hair is enjoying a renaissance. There are many great blogs dedicated to aiding afro haired women in gaining long, healthy hair. The support I've seen for women wanting to learn more about their hair is astonishing. Those interested in going natural or even relaxed and weaved ladies looking to get advice on a world of hair complaints are met with tons of helpful advice. I've never witnessed so much unity in the black community. Encouragement for those who feel insecure with wearing a tiny afro, other ladies exhibiting the wig they wear whilst their natural hair grows long enough to style, sharing their hair mistakes as well as their successes. Connecting black women all over the world. The "secrets" to long afro hair (amongst other things) are: Moisturising, sealing and protective (low manipulation) styling that protects the ends. Since the ends of our hair are the oldest and driest part extra care is needed to maintain them in order to retain length. Hair is a dead fibre that can only be either preserved or damaged. Growing afro hair means retaining length by hiding  those ends away for a special occasion. Whether we are relaxed, wear weaves/wigs or go natural there is advice out there so we can do the best by our hair. At the bottom of this article I've included some useful links for those with natural or chemically treated hair...

Personal Hair Journey

I used to have locs but took them down a couple of years ago and abused my hair with everything-for the last time. I bleached and relaxed my hair 6 weeks ago and have now cut off all my chemically treated hair. I only discovered the hair blogs after my decision and they have been a fantastic resource. To prove my point I'm going to take a picture every 3 months for a hair growth update. I want to prove that even after years of abuse beautiful hair is attainable. So, this is where I'm at:

Smallest afro ever! Will check back in 3 months.






Useful hair care links:

http://blackgirllonghair.com/ 

http://nappturality.com/ 

http://www.longhairdontcare.net/ 

http://relaxedhairhealth.blogspot.co.uk/ 

http://blackgirllonghair.com/2012/01/pros-and-cons-of-using-weave-as-a-protective-style/ 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjxiNzYUDTI 



Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Miss Petra V's Problem Page

Miss Petra V Is a trained counsellor with many years of experience in counselling, advice, guidance, mental health and support. In addition she's lead a life you could write a book on! Miss Petra offers empathetic, honest and practical advice. No matter what your problem is Petra has the answers and if she doesn't she will point you in the right direction...



My only gay friend tried to have sex with me?

I'm gay and he is gay. I am really upset a lot at the moment because my family is sort of imploding over me being gay. My dad hates it, my mum is ok (sort of), my little brother’s say I am an embarrassment.  My older brother says he feels he needs to defend me. I have only one gay friend who I tell EVERYTHING to. Yesterday he kissed me and I kissed him back, I suppose I don’t know why but then he pinned me down and I told him that was enough! He then told me to make up my mind! I was confused and asked, ‘About what?’ and he said ‘Everything’. I am  so confused, I feel like I should kill myself and I wish I never came out, then at least my family and friends could have mourned the person they loved.
Please tell me it gets better eventually as I can’t take this anymore


Response:

I would like to say that things will get a lot better for you. Regarding your family, I understand this is a terrible time for you. Your family may take a long time to get used to this or as in some cases they may not. At this moment they do not understand and its seems they have not been faced with this within the family before. This bad reaction is how they are choosing to deal with it for now. Your family do not understand so they are hurt, confused with mixed emotions and will worry about societies opinions, they may believe that they are thinking about you. On the plus side it is really positive that your Mum is somewhat ok with the fact you are gay as there is much hope that she will gradually be fine with it, in time she may also be able to soften this issue with your dad. It is great your brother feels he needs to defend you as he loves you.
Your friend who is gay is wrong in his whole approach, I am very concerned with the fact that he has held you down against your will, kissed you and then told you to make up your mind. This was unacceptable and you should never expect that from anyone. He has not acted as a friend and he has placed unnecessary pressure on you to go along with what he would like you to do for his own needs and so I can see why you feel you have no one to turn to. I understand why you are confused especially as you had trusted him and I empathise with you as you already felt alone and more so since this incident has occurred. Being gay is not about sex just as being any other sexuality is not either. You need to get away from this person. I know for now you will feel alone but it is far better than having a so called friend like that. You will not be without friends forever but just for now.
It is very sad you feel to fatally harm yourself as I am sure you have many people including your family who truly love you but, at the moment they are fixated on the fact you are gay. I do not believe you, your family or anyone else would be better off with you gone. You have already stated your brother wants to defend you so you can rest assured that he loves you too. You have a long future ahead and yes at times it may be rough but you will get through it and with the right people around you your future will be good. I would like you to try and think about yourself right now and what you would like for your future. Things will change as there is always hope and who knows you may be able to help someone else with the same problem in the future.
You can search online to find nationwide Help-Lines and Gay Organisations in and around your area. They can provide you with support, advice and guidance and some provide days to meet with gay people in similar circumstances and with those who understand what you are going through.

Take courage and be strong

Miss Petra V



Am I Gay? Please help!

I had just turned teen and as I am a man I had never looked at men in this way before but then in year 7 I had a crush on a guy. I had a girlfriend for 7 years although throughout that time I never loved her. I don't really get boners when I see girls on the street and I have to watch lesbian porn because if I watch straight porn I look only at the men... I do watch gay porn (Dont judge) and get turned on but it could be purberty, I dont get boners by girls that much anymore either. My ex girlfriend who I spoke about before is now my best friend. I was thinking I could go out with her when I'm older and pretend I love her? I'm not a cold person like that though but, I would if I had to. I do find girls fit but can't get an erection with them. I'm still not not sure if Im Gay.

Response:

You said you had, 'just turned teen' so I am assuming you were 13-14 years old when you first had a crush on a boy. That is a confusing time for us all as we go through many emotions at that age. Hormonally, physically and mentally we are growing and it is a crucial time in our lives when we are truly beginning to mould ourselves in many ways so that did not mean you were gay.
With your past girlfriend of seven years, although it is unfortunate that you did not love her, there could be many other reasons for this within the relationship as well as your sexuality. You have to take into consideration that you are young and wont always make the best decisions for yourself yet.
I don't believe many men have 'boners' when they see women on the street, this is not abnormal and this also does not mean you are gay. I would not judge any person for watching Porn but bare in mind that it is not a necessity so, if you feel any discomfort in doing so then I would advise you not to persist in watching it. Some heterosexual men are turned on by watching men and women having sex and sometimes become more aroused by watching the man. Some people are turned on by same sex as visually it is appealing. There is a difference, as if you desire to have sex with only men and want to be in a relationship with solely a man then this could mean you are gay. Many Gay people find the opposite sex very attractive and can often see why anyone would want to be with that person but that gay person feels that the opposite sex is not for them at all. You have said, 'You don’t get boners by girls that much anymore' so you are saying you do on some occasions. You actually could be bi-sexual with a stronger preference to men or it may be that you haven’t seen as many women that you find attractive. I think you need to take the pressure off yourself by not pushing the issue of the title of being gay. You need to find out who you are inside and though this may take time it will be worthwhile. When we are young we are impressionable, our circumstances, situations, life experiences, social inclusions and exclusions as well as family, friends and societies views make up some participating factors in sculpting us. Labelling yourself is not the important part, knowing who you are is. I cannot tell you if you are gay as there are many factors, some of which you have already pointed out. I would advise you to be true to yourself and think about it without stressing yourself. Going out with your ex girlfriend who is now your best friend is not advisable as this would be emotionally harmful for you both. Let her have a future of her own love life and for you to pursue your own. You already have said you will, 'pretend to love her' and this shows you never will. You have to make sure you do not punish yourself for being confused or hurt your best friend in the process even though it is unintentional. The great thing about having a best friend is that you can have them as your friend and confidant forever and you can always be yourself with them. You will be able to find out who you are with her as your friend and as someone who understands you. You have a great future ahead of you and much to learn about yourself. Please take your time and most of all love yourself for who you are right now.

Miss Petra V
 

  

My friend is avoiding me since we talked about being Lesbians...

This school year I met a girl and we became very good friends. Around a month after we became friends I began to develop feelings for her but I didnt tell her. I liked her a lot but I soon realized she did not care for me as much as I cared for her. During a conversation we had she told me about a girl who used to be her friend, she found out she was a lesbian and so stopped talking to her. I I couldn't risk not being with her so I said nothing. Before Spring break a friend of mine (a guy) told me that she had said she was a lesbian. I spent all Spring break imagining things with her, how I was gonna tell her I liked her and how much I wanted us to go out etc.
Anyway, after Spring break we had a really good talk where she told me she might be a lesbian or bisexual but she didn't want to be that way because of her religion. I told her I was a lesbian and also that I used to like her. She was very shocked and told me very clearly that there was no chance in hell anything could happen between us.
After that conversation, we acted 'normal', pretending nothing had happened, but I felt the tension and awkwardness between us. We talked again because in her opinion I was being very weird and possessive (which is the true since I like her alot and I had high hopes for us when I found out she was a lesbian). The thing is, she's been avoiding me ever since the second talk and I don't know what to do. I'm afraid our friendship is coming to an end because I just don't know how to be around her anymore. I don't feel normal or comfortable, and I can tell she doesnt too. I now know I love her. The thing is that she's a *****, I mean Ive seen that she knows how to manipulate people and how to play with their feelings.
What do I do? Should I stop talking to her? I don't know!! Any suggestions please...!

Response:

Unfortunately at this present time this friendship does not seem to be on a good path after the first discussion with your friend disclosing to you whether she was either bi-sexual or a lesbian. From what you have said it seems she may have felt uncomfortable because you had told her you are a lesbian and you 'used' to like her. Your friend is clearly not comfortable with what is happening with her own feelings towards sexuality and possibly does not feel comfortable with you as a lesbian. Your friend had stated prior to discussions that she had fallen out with another friend when she found this friend was a lesbian. Your friend said she does not want to be a lesbian or bi-sexual due to her religious beliefs. I understand that because of your joy in being told by another friend that she was a lesbian you were more eager to tell her about yourself and hoped for something to come of it but, you may have subconsciously played down the fact that she had ended a previous friendship due to this. You have told her of your attraction for her and because of her own issues she doesn't want to be involved in this and not with someone who is her friend. This must be very frustrating for you both as you had to hide your true feelings for such a long time. When you finally felt it was ok she made you realise that it wasn’t ok for her. For your friend this is extremely hard as she thought you were heterosexual and now she knows you are not as well as the fact that you had feelings for her. It is possible that because of this she cannot see how she will be able to continue the friendship without this getting in the way. Outside of your control your emotions for her have progressed and this has manifested in your self confessed possessiveness and in your opinion 'weird' actions. As you say you tried to act 'normal' but possibly in you both trying so hard to do this the relationship was strained even more so and the normal act became abnormal and not true. You have called your friend a negative strong word and have said, 'she knows how to play with people’s feelings and how to manipulate them', I would not advise anyone to attach themselves to a person with these characteristics, this could prove to be damaging for you. However, if you choose to continue the friendship you will have to take control of your feelings and decide if you would prefer a friendship without any desire and attraction for her or to not have a friendship at all. If you have decided that you will put your feelings of attraction for her aside and the friendship will mean so much more than your intimate feelings, you and your friend need to have another talk, you will need to be totally honest with each other about everything to see if you can get past and overcome what has happened and to continue to grow together as friends.

I wish you all the best

Miss Petra V


If you would like advice on a problem (no matter how big or small) contact Miss Petra at : Misspetrav@yahoo.co.uk...








Friday, 27 April 2012

NEWS: Immigrant Steals British Mans Job at Knifepoint

The police have launched an extensive nationwide manhunt for the man they believe responsible for stealing a British man's job at knife point. A Scotland Yard spokesman said; "Kinfe crime is one thing but to steal a man's livelihood is beyond evil. We will not cease searching till we find the man responsible for this heinous crime."

The unfortunate victim Gary Wells was visibly shaken when he had this to say;

"One minute I was parked up at the petrol Station the next I had a knife to my throat. He just kept saying, give me your job bloody now, over & over again. I tried to explain it was minimum wage but he was undeterred."


A BNP spkesperson said "You see, we told you they'd do this."

Police have managed to identify the suspect captured by CCTV as; Bfduygn C Erjhcb7e. Mr Erjhcb7e is believed to come from a place that is not Britain.

The recent spate of job thefts has spiked paranoia among the employed. Many have admitted to lying about their employment status to avoid being robbed

Ministers are worried it will damage the economy & have afforded police their full support in catching the job-robber.

Let's hope another victim won't have to suffer Gary's fate



The above story is entirely fictitious, do not sue me.

Thursday, 26 April 2012

The Interview: Peter J Piercy-TRANS*GENDERQUEER LONDON




Peter J Piercy is co-founder of  http://transgenderqueerlondon.tumblr.com/post/17152502803/welcome-to-trans-genderqueer-london I first met Peter at the Fringe Film Fest where he was co-presenting a trans workshop. The purpose of the workshop was to highlight issues of the trans community and open up a dialouge with the intention to create a comfortable atmosphere in which to discuss issues freely and hopefully learn something. There, I was introduced to many both appropriate and offensive terms for the transgendered and it opened my eyes to the many different trans identities out there, no-one was scared to ask questions and many found it extremely informative. I found the workshop to be so worthwhile! I learned so much that I wanted to thank Peter at the time but he was overwhelmed with appreciative praise for the session! I really wanted to interview him as I think we need to learn as much about the other letters  in the "LGBT" acronym in order to promote unity and understanding. Thankfully he added me on facebook and I didn't hesitate to ask for this interview. To my delight he said yes!

Me and Peter met in the vibrant and diverse area of Brixton all smiles! Then had to work out where to go. I feel like I should have researched that beforehand but luckily Peter knew the area alot better than me. We sat outside this eaterie place and indulged in a little conversation about the little intricate differences on London accents "There are so many London accents but when you think of London you think of the old skool cocney accents-which you hardly ever hear at all." 

Me: Some parts of London people can sound Jamaican...


"Yeah, some people are like, why do these white kids talk Jamaican and all that stupid stuff but I think that's part of their culture aswell, it's how their friends speak. We pick things up from each other, you're not exactly born with an accent. No-one says a surrey school girl of asian descent should be speaking with Indian accent!"

Me: That's a really good point!

"Yeah Campbell Ex was saying when she showed the film Stud Life to an American audience they didn't understand how the white and black characters spoke simarlarly. But I think in London there's more of a homogenisation of culture whereas, I think in the states it's a little more seperate."

We then spoke about his move to london after he finished studying at university.

Me: What did you study?


"I did modern history from about medieval times, everything apart from the ancient civilisations. Where I could I specialised... Mostly 19th century. I prefer the modern stuff just because of the nature of it. The sources tend to be more reliable, plus most of the earlier stuff centres around Kings, Queens and battles which I find kinda boring.  I preferred to specialise in social history. I do think it's important to know about the structure and governments but I enjoyed learning more about people and attitudes in society. Although Oxford is a very good uni, it's also very traditional, anglocentric, eurocentric there was a top down approach to what they taught."

Me and peter then had a conversation about education in general and how you're better equipped at studying when you've had a period of informal learning and life experience. I then asked Peter how he knew he was trans...

"It wasn't like a lineal realisation  it was more like pieces of a jigsaw coming together. It was a long proces but it's only recently that it began to make sense. I think it's because ( as I was saying in the presentation) I'm not incredibly butch which is what I thought I had to be like. So I tried various different identities but I never felt comfortable. It helped a little when I came out as a lesbian, I felt there was more freedom to present in a more boyish way. But still that wasn't quite right. I was trying to be too conventionally masculine identifying as female. It took a while to realise that it was the other way round I was more of an effeminate man than a masculine women. That made it harder to work out because you hear the conventional narrative of "oh I always knew and used to play with the boys and wouldn't wear a dress" that kinda thing. Whereas I had tomboyish traits but could also be quite feminine, I didn't have that clear distinction. The prevalence of those stories neglects the fact we can all be different things. A cis gendered guy could be an arty, emo, sensitive type of guy. I think if there's more variety of stories out there there'd be less pressure to conform.

Me and Peter get into a conversation about the pressures of coming out and I confessed that I threw myself into a lesbian identity before I was sure...

"I think you just get a sense, don't you? I think I did it the more wimpy way (laughs) I mean I went to places identifying as gay and stuff but I was at uni and we all knew each other so I'd just go to London (laughs) to gay places and it's only when I got my first girlfriend I came out to my family. But coming out as trans, I did something similar to you coz I think how can you ever be 100% sure? I originally thought I would just start out by getting people to call me by a male name-just friends and the queer community but I didn't much change the way I presented and because I didn't change alot at first-the way people thought of me didn't either. Then I changed my name legally, at work and with my family. To me this represented taking on a full term male identity."

Me: Was that really liberating?

"Yeah! When I did it I was 90% sure I wanted to do it. I don't think you can know a 100% you've just got to trust that it'll be right-and I knew staright away it was right. You'd think changing your name after having one for years and years that it'd feel weird but because I already felt attached to my male name in my head it was fairly instant and pretty much straight away I felt bonded to my true identity."

Me: When you came out as trans did you encounter any difficulties?

"My friends were really great about it, but I think it will take my mother a while longer to get her head around it all, it's a hard thing for her to understand that's it's a permanant identity rather than something you can switch off in certain circumstances."

After a little chat about family and how our respective families responded to our identities I told Peter how much I enjoyed the trans workshop because of how informative it was and asked what inspired him to set up Trans*genderqueerlondon.

"I think people often think it's rather presumptous to set up your own project but I started it up because it was the group I wish existed. There are some groups like FTM London which I think are good for some people but I felt they directed more of their focus on the physical transition-which I think is important, to let people know about hormones etc. but I wanted to see an organisation for all kinds of trans people, feminine guys, transwomen, genderqueer. I wanted a space to talk about just living really whether you're pre-transition or post-transition and all the issues you might encounter. Most articles soley focus on transitioning but what about the rest of your life? So I started it up with a couple of friends and immediately there seemed to be a demand for it so we decided to set up a webspace. Because we're not such a formal organisation we can be creative with it which makes it so interesting to do. I didn't want the workshops to be like "trans 101" because it'd be in danger of either being too simplistic or misleading. For example, where you only hear these stories that are cliche like being born in the wrong body when that's not how everyone feels. Doing a basic introduction may leave people feeling more confused, I think it's much better to open a dialouge to help give a sense of the diversity rather than try and make these big statements..."

Me: What did you think about the trans season on channel 4?

"I think alot of people thought it was better than some of that other one's but still not wholly representative. They'd let them express their characters a little then it'd cut back to the genital surgery. It seemed to just feed in to the preconceptions people have about the trans community. It's focusing on the idea that it's only when you get that sex change that you're considered to be a man or a woman and "sex change surgery" in itself is a very broad term. There are many different surgeries people can have and some don't want any surgery at all-or can't have it for financial or medical reasons..."

Me: What else does the organisation do?

"Well at first it started out as informal meetings then we did the workshop at Fringe Fest which went so well we're looking to take take workshop to universities targeting the LGBT groups."

Me: That's a really good idea!

"I've found that many don't have a trans rep-although there's not that many trans people generally."

Me: How often/where do you meet?

"It's the first Sunday of the month at retro bar though we're trying to organise a new venue."

Me: Who can come to the group?

"It's for anyone interested in talking about their gender identity and even those who don't identify as trans but wanna talk about it; allies, partners, friends. There's alot of cis gendered people who are really knowledgable about these issues and contribute well to the discussion. There are such a variety of views and experiences regarding trans life. Some trans people see themselves as straight and seek hetrosexual relations whereas many are alot more queer than that. I personally wouldn't see myself dating a straight hetrosexual woman who'd never been with a woman before. Though, I would need to be with someone who appreciates the man I am."

Me and Peter  continued onto a discussion about how language can be a barrier when it comes to discussions. Some, through fear of being offensive won't say anything at all., the more accessible the discussions the more understanding achieved. We also discussed the politics of "passing"  (people not being able to tell you've changed gender) and how transwomen are often more vulnerable to abuse than transmen...

"I think it's more accepted by society for a woman to dress like a man than a man to dress like a woman. They're alot more visible. Some people just hate anything that challenges what they believe about gender. They'd rather people just stayed in their boxes"

Me: How long has the organisation Trans*genderqueerlondon been going for?

"Well it was quite informal at first but became more of an organisation. We started in November last year."

Me: (with no shame) Wooooow

"Then it sort of  just went on from there (smiles)"

There you have it people the amazingly articulate and personable Peter. I think what he does with his organisation is great like Frosties and amazing members of the community like Peter need to be celebrated for the positive things they do! I really, really urge you to go along to one of their meetings. I'm certain you'll learn so much more about transpeople through that medium rather than a sensationalist shock doc that will-in all likelyhood, misinform. Thank you so much Peter for a great chat and helping me spread the word about your wonderful organisation. For information about the meetings and interesting blogs about trans life in general click the link below. Thank you for reading.

http://transgenderqueerlondon.tumblr.com/post/17152502803/welcome-to-trans-genderqueer-london 

And do thatke a look at Peters personal blog-it's interesting stuff (:

http://petersparlour.tumblr.com/




Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Bizarre Marketing trends

"When I eat salad my life is hilarious!"
Women Laughing On Their Own With Salad
Looking to put a smile on the face of that special lady? Don't waste all your witty one liners, instead just make her a salad, leave her alone and wait for nature to take its course. This is what the marketeers would have us believe. I love this portrayl of women with salad. Ad men really think if we don't see a women laughing whilst eating her greens simultaneously we won't believe it is healthy. Check any womens magazine. If there is a healthy eating feature it's likely to be accompanied by photograph of a lady lol'ing with a bowl of  Meditarranean type salad. Still, we don't know what tricks the salad is playing when it gets these women alone. Maybe I could learn a thing or two from baby plum tomatoes. For more pictures of women laughing alone with salad check the link below. Ahhh, the joy of salad.

http://thehairpin.com/2011/01/women-laughing-alone-with-salad


"Shopping whilst being black and female makes me so happy"

 Very Happy Black Women Shopping

Title says it all really. The marketing people feel that women love shopping but black women even more so. We jump in the air, squeal with excitement and pose for pictures. We do weights with our shopping bags, practise the high jump with our shopping bags-and of course all of this implies that when we get home we make love to our shopping. It's sex and Westfield Shopping City all the way!
 "I've just turned on my hard drive"


Happy Women With Laptops

This is nearly as bizarre as women laughing on their own with salad. Look how this lady is gently caressing the keys with her hand palm whilst smiling at us seductively. In alot of these type of pictures the women aren't even looking at the device. They are not using them, they just want to be seen with them. As a women I have a whole photo album with just me and my latop. "All I need in this life of sin...."


Other funny marketing trends:

Orgasmic women washing their hair
Men laughing alone with fruit salad
Couples piggybacking to demonstrate a happy relationship
Business women in adverts for thrush medication

Sapphic Seduction