Foolish Reasons Lesbians Fight in the Club

 I suspect this isn't a real fight

Lesbians who frequent the "urban" scene are almost comfortable with the fact that when you plan a great night out it may or may not be ruined by some idiots having a fight. It really spoils it for everyone and serves to divide us further.  Now, this doesn't happen every time or indeed at evey event. Some even find it entertaining! Nearly every reason for a fight is foolish. Except one eg. if a stranger hits you for no reason. You can't just stand there. But the likelihood of a club goer whacking you in the face for no good reason is very unlikely. I can say with authority that NO fight on the lesbian scene started for this reason. They often start for the reasons listed below

WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY GIRL DOE?

So, a lesbian couple are out together lookin lovely and (lets for arguments sake call her Quanzaneysha) all of a sudden Quanzaneysha gets the urge to defend her girls honour by marching up to another girl and threatening to "KNOCK HER THE FUCK OUT". The girl (lets call her Shanaynay) is baffled but not wanting to look small in front of her homies puffs out her chest and before anyone can say WHAT!! A fight ensues and both are thrown out of the club quicker than you can say "she tore out her weave". The crime? Shanaynay looked at Quanzaneysha's girl. Now, correct me if I'm wrong. People have eyes. Eyes look at things. Eyes are particularly drawn to attractive things. Pictures of tasty food make us hungry photo's of attractive i mean tasty females make us horn... I mean hungry. Bottom line; if you cannot go out with an attractive female without wanting to tear someone to shreds for meerly glancing in her direction you are either A: Not mature enough to go out and B: Not mature enough to have a girlfirend. Whenever other girls looked at my women in the club I took it as a silent compliment. I enjoyed it. You should be resisting the urge to go "ner ner she's mine" rather than the urge to fight.

THESE TRAINERS ARE NEW!!!

Now, children are not alllowed in a nightclub but if they were I wouldn't bring mine. Why? Because should anyone trouble them in any way I'm liable to get angry/upset. The same goes for prized possesions because I wouldn't bring my antique jewellry box to a rave either. So why oh why do people insist on wearing their favorite often new trainers in a crowded and sweaty enviroment? Now there's nothing wrong with doing that if you're well in the head but if you're the kind of person who is willing to fight over a little scuff on your child labour made trainers, don't wear them-besides you're embarassing yourself. It's like you never bought trainers before.

SHE/HE BARGED ME

If you do not like the feel of crowd tension don't go to a crowded enviroment. It doesn't matter who barged who, say sorry move on. Likelihood is that no-one actually barged anyone... 

ARE YOU GONNA BANG DOE  

The young'uns can get a little excitable at times. So much so that when unleashed in an enviroment of ladie lovers they can't resist the urge to touch perfect strangers inappropriately. there's the bum/boob grab, the thigh stroke, the inner thigh stroke and the high inner thigh stroke! A women can get very defensive of her body and so she should but some just can't handle the rejection and turn nasty. Cue abusive name calling and you've got disaster waiting to happen. Undignified.

ARE YOU GONNA PAY FOR THAT

While i've never seen this blow up into a full blown fight it's come pretty close. You've just bought a drink and some drunken reveller stumbles on you. The result? Your precious alcohol flies straight outta your glass without you barely having a sip. You want to kill them. I blame the clubs for this. If 1 measly drink didn't cost the same as the bottle of the spirit it barely contains people wouldn't get that emotional. But still, fighting about a bit of spirit? Shame.

SETTLING OLD SCORES

Now this could potentially be a lot of  fun if they donned superhero costumes and upon meeting said "arghhhh we meet again"... But they don't.  They screwface each other all night building the tension till somebody blows. It's uncomfortable.

OTHER REASONS PEOPLE MAY FIGHT IN THE CLUB

She's with my ex
I'm drunk
she stepped on my toe
she looked at me funny
she thinks she's bad/nice
She's been talking about me behind my back
She chirpsed my girl

If anyone one knows of reasons not on the list Sapphic Seduction would love to hear them.